Find Him | Attract Him | Become Soul Mates for Life

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Dating Advice for Women

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

Our 5-year-old son, Mason, asked me what it means when you hear sirens from firetrucks and the ambulance. I told him it means there are brave and courageous men and women going to help someone. The sirens are an affirmation that there are helpers out there at all times. That’s the frame of meaning I choose to believe and choose to convey to Mason. You could put a different frame of meaning on it. It could mean that someone is…

Approach Your Love Life as a Series of Sprints

We were talking with our workshop clients today about the importance of approaching dating & relationships as a SERIES OF SPRINTS.   You want to SPRINT (work hard, go on dates, interact with people on a dating site or app etc.) and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Go all out for a period of time. Invest a lot of your time and energy into finding the right person. Sprint…
How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

Megan was 34. She had a graduate degree and a great career. She was attractive, fit and smart. She had a full life. Yet she kept dating the wrong men. Sure, men were pursuing her, but all these guys were way off from what she was looking for…. OR She was into a guy, only to have him leave her after things seemed to be going great. She was stuck in a repeating cycle of wrong guy after wrong guy.…
“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

Those were the words that changed our client’s life. We just got off the phone with a client who is in an exclusive relationship with an amazing guy. We are so proud of her. She told us that she decided to work with us after hearing those words. Her boyfriend told her those exact words. It was the second time in her life where she thought things were going well, only to find out her boyfriend wasn’t ready for a…
4 Online Dating Tips for Women

4 Online Dating Tips for Women

In the latest Date to Soul Mate Show we talk about 4 steps to successfully find the right person online. Online dating can be a complete time and energy wasting rabbit hole. We also have many clients who find love online after years of dating the wrong people. If you focus on these 4 steps you put yourself in a much better position to find the right person for you online. APPLY FOR A FREE ATTRACT THE MAN YOU WANT…
Have Him Pursue You

Have Him Pursue You

Let’s get together sometime! Let’s meet up soon. We’ll figure it out. I’ll hit you up sometime. One of the worst things in dating is when a person is SOMETIMING you. When they’re SOONING you. Even worse is when they expect you to do ALL the work. Let me know when you’re free! Let me know when you want to get together again. If you want to be the person in charge of making all the plans and giving all…

SAY THIS, NOT THAT in Dating & Relationships….

There is the end of the conversation when you want someone to take your phone number and call or text you. What do we normally do? Usually we say nothing and miss out on ever talking to that person again. or we say “here’s my number give me a call” or “give me your number” Next time SAY THIS: “I have to go, it was great talking to you.” followed by…… 1. You seem fun! Feel free to shoot me…
How to stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Men

How to stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Men

Getting dumped when you’re in love with someone is the worst. Realizing that the person you have the feelz for is totally wrong for you is excruciating. We know how hard it is to choose the right person to love. Many of you have asked us how you can stop falling for guys so quickly. How you can stop falling for the wrong guys over and over again. We teach our clients a specific dating process for how they can…

We are doing a happy dance!

We could not be starting out our week in a better way than doing a happy dance for one of our clients! She posted this in our group last week. It is unbelievable the GRIT she put into making her dream a reality. When she came to us, she was disheartened, disappointed, and frustrated with the fact that she kept meeting the WRONG men who were not of her caliber and did not deserve all of the amazing things she brings…
Top 4 Reasons Why Men Disappear or Ghost

Top 4 Reasons Why Men Disappear or Ghost

It really hurts when a guy you’re dating just disappears. You have a great date and you never hear from him again. You have a great first few months only to have him ghost on you. Or Maybe you have some flirty and fun messages back and forth online or on an app only to have him stop responding. Having a guy suddenly disappear or ghost with no explanation is one of the most confusing and upsetting parts of dating.…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…

They thought she was sick, but what came next changed everything…

We know a couple. They got married in 1963. She had moved to the United States from Europe as an interpreter. He served in the Army and had moved back home to work in the family business. They met in a restaurant two years before getting married. They came from different family backgrounds, yet in others ways had a lot in common. They fell in love and created a life together. They bought a house. Made friends as a couple.…
Why don’t MEN change?

Why don’t MEN change?

We receive A LOT of messages and comments wondering why women have to change…. Why don’t men change? Why don’t you teach guys how to be better men? Here are a few of the messages we’ve received recently…..; “So the only way they are going to help anyone is if they start re-educating men! Teach them how to be DECENT Human Beings. That’s the problem. That is why over half of the female population is single. Women choose to be…
She’s getting married in November

She’s getting married in November

It’s celebration time. Our client Angela is getting married in November to a MAN that she’s been dreaming of for a long time. For many years it seemed like he might just be that. A dream. A dream that never turns into reality. For a long time, Angela felt successful in other areas of her life, but kept dating guys who wouldn’t open up to her, didn’t feel right or wouldn’t commit. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t having…

The 1 rule to have in dating…

We don’t believe in “rules” when it comes to dating and love. Even that “rule” we believe in breaking from time to time. If you are dating it’s important to set one rule for yourself….. NEVER GIVE ANYONE MONEY THAT YOU’RE DATING! Don’t do it. Not for any reason. Not for any “story” they have. There are criminal networks out there obsessing over ways to prey on someone feeling lonely and extracting as much money from you as they can.…

Breaking free of the bread crumbers…..

We got off the phone with a client who finally broke her main forever single dating pattern. She had been dating bread crumbers for a LONG time. For the past two years she had dated a guy on and off who bread crumbed her the whole time. She had given her blood, sweat and tears to this guy and got very little in return. She was showing up day after day for this guy. Meeting his needs. Stepping up to…
Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

If you want to break out of dating the wrong guys over and over again you need a system. If you want to stop searching endless profiles online of guys you don’t like you need a system. To do anything great long term you need a system. Whether it’s your health, physical fitness, your career or having great relationships with others you need a system for long term success. Most of people don’t have a system when it comes to dating.…
she was scared to get new photos

she was scared to get new photos

One of our clients just got new photos done for online dating. and it will make a huge difference in WHO she is attracting online. We are so excited for her, because we know the difference it WILL make. She had fears around getting new photos. Most of us do. We feel vulnerable and out of our comfort zone getting photos done. We make all kinds of excuses why we don’t get photos. “guys should like me just for me”…
Who are you NOT dating anymore?

Who are you NOT dating anymore?

We work with many clients in our live workshop and in our ongoing mentorship program. One of the first things we do with them is get CRYSTAL clear about who they won’t be dating anymore. Yes it’s important to know WHO is right for you. In the beginning it’s more important to know who you WON’T date from this day forward. Notice, we didn’t way wrong for you. Many of us continue to date people who are wrong for us.…
Can’t stop the Perfection….

Can’t stop the Perfection….

In our household the theme song from Troll’s plays a lot right now. Our son Mason is a huge fan. Can’t stop the feeling…… Can’t stop the feeling….. We usually have it stuck in our heads. Most of us have another song stuck in our heads day in and day out. It’ called… Can’t stop the perfection…. We play it all day – everyday. We strive to be perfect. In every area of our lives. We NEED to have the…
You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

Most of our clients initially come to us for dating and relationship strategies. They know we’ve created a proven system for finding love with the right person and they want to KNOW the tactics we teach. People focus on tips and tactics. You want to know how to flirt. Where to find the right person. What site or app to use. What to say. Same with dieting.  We want to know the latest tactic or strategy for losing weight. Most…
Do you really need chemistry with a guy?

Do you really need chemistry with a guy?

He’s soooo nice, BUT I’m not into him! He’s a great guy, BUT I don’t feel any chemistry! He wants to be with me, BUT I’m not attracted to him! Many of the clients we work with come to us initially having zero chemistry with the men their “SUPPOSED” to like and having a lot of chemistry with emotionally unavailable men. Their frustrated that they aren’t attracted to these NICE and GOOD guys. The questions is… Do you really need…
Music, wine and your packaging

Music, wine and your packaging

Last Friday and Saturday we went to a local concert here in Sonoma, CA called Huichica. The whole shindig is held at a cool winery called Gundlach Bunschu or Gunbun as the locals like to call it. So it was a weekend full of music, wine and great food. It was also a great place to do some people watching… As you know, we are psychologists so we love people watching. One of the most interesting parts of people watching…
Don’t buy another dating book

Don’t buy another dating book

You don’t need to buy ANOTHER dating book or read ANOTHER article on love. More information is hurting your chances in love. You don’t need more information. You don’t need to learn THE LATEST sexy new tactic to “attract your man”. More information keeps you stuck. It frustrates you. It zaps your time and energy. It keeps you in your head thinking over and over again. It murders your genuine connection with men. What sabotages your success in love are…
You are only ONE green light signal or conversation away from finding the love of your life…..

You are only ONE green light signal or conversation away from finding the love of your life…..

You just don’t know which green light signal it will be! That’s right. One green light signal or one conversation with the RIGHT PERSON at the RIGHT TIME will change the course of your life. The problem is we don’t connect with each other anymore. We are more unapproachable than ever. We are stuck in our phones, stuck in our mental to do list, and running from one activity to another. We also have our walls up because we’ve been hurt…
Are you pen pals or are you ACTUALLY dating?

Are you pen pals or are you ACTUALLY dating?

There is a special kind of boiling frustration that engulfs you when a guy you met online continues to want to be message pals or text buddies. The dreaded never ending messages. He messages you over and over again. or He halfheartedly messages you every once in awhile. All without ever asking you out on a REAL DATE. The growing resentment inside of you explodes when he send you another “what’s up” message. The worst part of it is you…
What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

We LOVE San Francisco. We love going there for weekend romantic getaways. In fact, our FAVORITE Italian restaurant in the whole world is there, Franchino’s. It’s the kind of restaurant where it feels like your mother is doing the cooking, only its a version of your mother that is an even better cook. (sshhhh don’t tell our mothers we said that) It’s run by an Italian family. The father is the host and runs the front end of the restaurant…
What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

Sarah came to us in a sweat of panic and debilitating confusion. She knew she was stuck… She was trapped in several of the forever single dating patterns… She was excruciatingly aware that she was meeting guys who weren’t right for her. She kept dating these guys who seemed right but were breadcrumbing her. She was also meeting a gang of guys who were WAY off from what she was looking for. She KNEW there was better guys out there… Several…
The Biggest Lie of Matchmaking

The Biggest Lie of Matchmaking

“I’m looking for a guy who is a cross between Shemar Moore and Jayson Taylor and I won’t settle for anything less”. When we worked as matchmakers at eHarmony, one of our clients told us the above statement. She wanted us to find her a guy who looked like a cross between these two VERY GOOD LOOKING men. Shemar Moore even dated Halle Berry at one point.  These guys are extremely attractive celebrities and professional athletes. Go to google to see…
When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

Our internal voices are either our jailers or they lead you to living an authentic and fulfilling life. We all hear voices. Don’t let any psychiatrist tell you differently. Your internal voices are simply your conscious and unconscious thoughts. You have roughly 60 THOUSAND thoughts per day. Some of them are helpful. Many of them are harmful to your happiness and goals. How do you know when to TRUST your inner voice and when to ignore it? Us humans are…