Find Him | Attract Him | Become Soul Mates for Life

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Unbeatable Mindset/Emotional Fitness

How to Make Decisions – Are you Hiding in the Middle?

Today we are going to talk about how to make decisions in your love life. You most likely want to be able to make decisions more effectively, faster and that lead you to what you want. Here is what we often hear from people. I’m not sure if I like him!  I don’t know.  Maybe!  Ya I think I’d like to do that.  I’ll try that. Does that sound familiar?  Do you talk to yourself that way? Is that how…
How to Find My Soulmate

How to Find My Soulmate

A client asked us… How do I find my soulmate? What do I have to do meet the man who is the one for me? Do I find my soulmate online?  Offline? We told this client we need to change how she is thinking about soulmates before she can find who she is looking for. Another client of ours has gone on 3 great dates with a guy. This man is attractive.  He is an ambitious professional.  He is family…

Why you SHOULDN’T have a date on Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is one of those events that leads people to lose their freaking minds. If you are single, it can cause you to rip yourself to shreds. It’s the fakebook comparison game. Where you compare yourself to your “HAPPY” friends.  Your “IN LOVE” friends. All the people you see on fakebook proudly taking selfies of their once in a lifetime relationship. When you see that it’s easy to compare someone else’s fakebook highlight reel of their life to your…
Feeling better vs. BEING better

Feeling better vs. BEING better

If you had a bad day and are just venting, we recommend you vent in a private journal and not on a public facebook post. Believe it or not, the people you’re dating are looking you up. We once had a client who couldn’t figure out why she was having so much trouble in the beginning stages of dating. People were initially interested in her but quickly disappeared. After 2 minutes of online research, we discovered that she was saying…
What are Your Flat Tires…

What are Your Flat Tires…

We took our son Mason Bowling over the weekend. He loves bowling. Mainly because he gets to use bumpers, so he can’t throw the ole gutter ball. On our way to the bowling alley, out of nowhere we start to hear a loud thumping noise. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP! This was instantly scary as we were going at least 55 miles per hour. We both looked at each other in panic but within a few seconds…
Finding Your Soul Mate – Why is it so easy for everyone else?

Finding Your Soul Mate – Why is it so easy for everyone else?

Finding Your Soul Mate isn’t easy.  At least not for you.  It seems like it’s easy for everyone else. Do you notice how easy it is for your friends and co-workers to get into a relationship. Half the time they aren’t even trying.  It just happens. One minute they’re single and the next minute they’re on their way to walking down the aisle. If you go on facebook you see people connecting and finding love all the time. When we…

Are you Trying TOO Many things in Dating?

I was playing basketball with our son Mason yesterday. We were shooting hoops and I felt like I couldn’t miss. I kept shooting and it kept going in. It was a really good feeling.   As I thought about it, I realized that for the past several years I had settled on shooting a basketball with a certain form. I chose a particular way to shoot the ball and stuck with it.   Every time I played basketball I shot…

Finding someone who is right for you long term is EXTREMELY important if you want a great long term relationship.

Incompatibility is a cause of many relationship problems. But finding the right person to love is just the ticket to the next level of conscious effort and work. Once you’ve found the right person to love, you need to learn the skills to love that person for a lifetime. The skills to love someone and create a great long term partnership are difficult to master. They require painful self-awareness and uncomfortable looks into the mirror of your own choices, emotions…
Time Management and Productivity in Dating

Time Management and Productivity in Dating

Does time management matter in dating? Can you be productive when it comes to your love life? The answer is YES! What you spend your precious time and energy DOING in your love life is crucial. There are specific actions you can take that have huge return on time investments in dating. These actions lead you to attract and connect with the right people. They directly lead you to creating a lasting relationship. Conversely, most things you CAN do in…
How to Be Confident in Dating

How to Be Confident in Dating

Your self-esteem and confidence are important to attracting the right person into your life. No matter what tactics you are using to meet people in dating, your confidence and self-esteem are constantly in the background influencing how you interact with people. Learning how to be more confident and even build more confidence will significantly improve your interactions with men and will lead you to ATTRACT more high quality men. How to be Confident in Dating –Set the frame-assume that whoever…

She Used to Believe it COULDN’T Happen for Her… Then it Did!

We just got this message from a client who USED to believe this couldn’t happen for her. We are so excited for her and my ❤️ is full! This is what happens when you take committed action, take different actions then before and follow a step-by-step system.   FIND & ATTRACT Your IDEAL MAN in the SHORTEST TIME possible by following a simple system that’s led thousands of modern, professional women to build lasting relationships with their ideal man. If you are…
Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting over each day and each moment is key in life.  Get a fresh start today by using the clear the calculator technique.  You don’t have to wait till tomorrow to start again or star over in life.  Now is the time. Usually when we think of starting over we think of it as some big Jerry Maguire moment where we completely separate ourselves from our old life and take drastic action. Starting over can happen each day.  It can…
Givers and Takers – Who Wins in Love and Life

Givers and Takers – Who Wins in Love and Life

I’ve been studying successful people from different time periods recently. Abraham Lincoln was a big giver in his orientation toward others. Many people initially thought this was a weakness of his. They underestimated him as a result, however he consistently showed up as a giver and was extremely successful over the long haul as a result. It reminds me of this quote by Chip Conley “Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s valuable in a…

The Problem with Striving for Non-Stop Joy and Ease

We’ve been seeing A LOT of social media posts, videos and articles from “gooroos” lately talking about how you NEED to experience never ending JOY and EASE in your life. The message is that if it doesn’t feel easy.. If you aren’t JOYFUL all the time while living then you are not doing it right. There is something wrong in your approach. If you aren’t experiencing complete joy and ease with your partner there is something wrong. And that message…

How one woman found love online with a guy she previously would’ve rejected.

We are so happy for one of our clients.  She took responsibility for her results in love.  She reached out to work with us. She committed to doing things differently.  She put in the hard work. She made some significant changes in a very short amount of time. She has fallen in love with an amazing guy who is perfect for HER. Here is the message she just sent to us….. BRAVO! We couldn’t be happier for you and you…

THE BIGGER FOOL THEORY IN ACTION according to a “Reader” of ours.

We recently received a message from someone on facebook. She had some strong opinions about what we do and the people we work with. We love hearing ALL opinions. This person’s message helps us clear up some faulty assumptions about who we help and what we do. Thanks for giving us this opportunity. 1. Yes, if you want different results in your life, YOU will need to do something different.  YOU will have to make a change if you want things…

The deeper I get into the important areas of my life, the more satisfaction and success I get out of consistently doing the fundamental basics day in and day out.

I’m no longer chasing cool or sexy “new” things. I’m simply showing up everyday and getting better at and taking more satisfaction in the important basic actions of being…… -a husband -a dad -a business owner -a friend -a Psychologist/change agent -a writer -a community member I’m loving taking more pride and satisfaction in what most would consider boring or would overlook as obvious (but don’t actually do). Dr. Michael Arn      

“WHO IS HELPING THE MEN GET THEIR ACTS TOGETHER?”

This is a question we received from a woman today. We answered: “There are many coaches and experts helping men. Many men are seeking this help. It’s a huge million dollar industry. We happen to specialize in working with women. Have a great day.” The sad part to us is that she is asking a question that dis-empowers her. It takes her away from her own success. It focuses her on something she can’t control. With our clients, one of…
Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Today let’s get down to some real online dating advice. Certain aspects of online dating are maddening. Dealing with all the douche’s, pervs, players, haters and flakes out there is enough to make you want to become a nun and commit your life to ANYTHING other than a member of the male species. You know what we’re talking about. Those douchey or pervy messages you get from guys. Crudely commenting on how you look. Messaging you… “let’s f##k” as their…

Attraction and Chemistry are a lot like Motivation.

Most people wait and depend on someone or something outside of themselves to give them motivation or attraction.   That’s why motivation and attraction rarely happen and are short lived when they do occur.   Yes, some of attraction is innate and totally outside of our control.   Yet, much of attraction and chemistry for someone else starts within you.   The energy, boldness and playfulness you bring to an interaction with someone is huge.   The parts of you…
The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

If you want to be one of the world’s foremost experts in unhappiness and loneliness we have a great strategy for you. Sure, there are many unhappy people out there, but with dedicated practice you can learn to surpass most other people’s unhappiness. First, identify the best practices out there in terms of how to find love and how to be happy. Discover what the happiest and most in love people have done to get there. Take each one of these…
What frame of Meaning are You Using?

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

Our 5-year-old son, Mason, asked me what it means when you hear sirens from firetrucks and the ambulance. I told him it means there are brave and courageous men and women going to help someone. The sirens are an affirmation that there are helpers out there at all times. That’s the frame of meaning I choose to believe and choose to convey to Mason. You could put a different frame of meaning on it. It could mean that someone is…

Approach Your Love Life as a Series of Sprints

We were talking with our workshop clients today about the importance of approaching dating & relationships as a SERIES OF SPRINTS.   You want to SPRINT (work hard, go on dates, interact with people on a dating site or app etc.) and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Go all out for a period of time. Invest a lot of your time and energy into finding the right person. Sprint…
“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

Those were the words that changed our client’s life. We just got off the phone with a client who is in an exclusive relationship with an amazing guy. We are so proud of her. She told us that she decided to work with us after hearing those words. Her boyfriend told her those exact words. It was the second time in her life where she thought things were going well, only to find out her boyfriend wasn’t ready for a…
How to stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Men

How to stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Men

Getting dumped when you’re in love with someone is the worst. Realizing that the person you have the feelz for is totally wrong for you is excruciating. We know how hard it is to choose the right person to love. Many of you have asked us how you can stop falling for guys so quickly. How you can stop falling for the wrong guys over and over again. We teach our clients a specific dating process for how they can…
Top 4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away

Top 4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away

Discover why men pull away after getting close.  Why do men disappear after things seemed to be going well?  We’ll answer these questions for you once and for all. It really hurts when a guy you’re dating just disappears. You have a great date and you never hear from him again. You have a great first few months only to have him ghost on you. Or Maybe you have some flirty and fun messages back and forth online or on…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…
Why don’t MEN change?

Why don’t MEN change?

We receive A LOT of messages and comments wondering why women have to change…. Why don’t men change? Why don’t you teach guys how to be better men? Here are a few of the messages we’ve received recently…..; “So the only way they are going to help anyone is if they start re-educating men! Teach them how to be DECENT Human Beings. That’s the problem. That is why over half of the female population is single. Women choose to be…

Breaking free of the bread crumbers…..

We got off the phone with a client who finally broke her main forever single dating pattern. She had been dating bread crumbers for a LONG time. For the past two years she had dated a guy on and off who bread crumbed her the whole time. She had given her blood, sweat and tears to this guy and got very little in return. She was showing up day after day for this guy. Meeting his needs. Stepping up to…