Find Him | Attract Him | Become Soul Mates for Life

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Inspiration and Motivation

We don’t claim to help everyone.

We’ve been at this for over a decade. In that time, we have tried to help our clients in A LOT of different ways. We worked with clients face-to-face in our office in the traditional therapy model. We met for an hour a week….and every week it felt like we were starting over again. Progress was SLOW. We created ebooks. We had monthly memberships where people could ask us questions. We had products that highlighted one part of our system…

Dumped and in a Dark Place

It can seem like no matter what you do you aren’t any closer to meeting the right person or having the relationship you want. The endless bad dates are demoralizing. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard you try it always feel like your back at square one. Your love life is different than other areas of your life. In most other areas you can make gradual progress. It’s easier to feel like your making progress in your career because…
Feeling better vs. BEING better

Feeling better vs. BEING better

If you had a bad day and are just venting, we recommend you vent in a private journal and not on a public facebook post. Believe it or not, the people you’re dating are looking you up. We once had a client who couldn’t figure out why she was having so much trouble in the beginning stages of dating. People were initially interested in her but quickly disappeared. After 2 minutes of online research, we discovered that she was saying…

are you stuck in one of these 3 spots

“I’m just so sick and tired of feeling like it will NEVER happen for me.” We hear this a lot. The women we speak to daily reach out to us for help because they are questioning whether they’ll ever find love with the right guy. These are amazing women who are successful in every other area of life. The set a goal and achieve it. Yet, they can’t get what they want in their love life. These women come to…
“She LOVES me!”

“She LOVES me!”

“She LOVES me!” He came running in the house yelling “She loves me!”. He whipped open his backpack and eagerly pulled out this picture of him and his beautiful lady. She had also drawn him this card filled with hearts. Our son, who is 5 years old, was on top of the world. The little girl in his class that he has had a crush on for five months, had come around. Originally, when he asked her to marry him,…
Finding Your Soul Mate – Why is it so easy for everyone else?

Finding Your Soul Mate – Why is it so easy for everyone else?

Finding Your Soul Mate isn’t easy.  At least not for you.  It seems like it’s easy for everyone else. Do you notice how easy it is for your friends and co-workers to get into a relationship. Half the time they aren’t even trying.  It just happens. One minute they’re single and the next minute they’re on their way to walking down the aisle. If you go on facebook you see people connecting and finding love all the time. When we…

Finding someone who is right for you long term is EXTREMELY important if you want a great long term relationship.

Incompatibility is a cause of many relationship problems. But finding the right person to love is just the ticket to the next level of conscious effort and work. Once you’ve found the right person to love, you need to learn the skills to love that person for a lifetime. The skills to love someone and create a great long term partnership are difficult to master. They require painful self-awareness and uncomfortable looks into the mirror of your own choices, emotions…
How to Find Love – What Are Your Options?

How to Find Love – What Are Your Options?

What are your options?  Do you know how to find love when you’re single and you aren’t meeting the kind of attractive, compatible, relationship ready man you want? We get asked all the time…    How do I find Love? You have several options available to you to try and find your soulmate.  We are going to lay them out for you so that you can choose the option that is best for you. Maybe you’ve thought about …. **hiring a…

Today I’m thinking about Shiny objects!

You know what I really want? A vacation. Cocktails on the beach and beautiful sunsets. You know what I need? Mentorship so I can be the best leader and change agent for my clients. Don’t get me wrong, that vacation or buying a bunch of hot Christmas stuff on sale would feel great….especially in the moment. But, I’m going to choose to set myself up for success for the whole year, not to just have fun in the moment. I’m…

Today I am on a high due to the success of a great client.

When we first spoke, she was living in a big city, but feeling alone. She has been super successful in her career and at a very young age. She kept watching all of her friends couple up and move on to the next chapter without her. She didn’t much or really have relationships. She knew she wanted to, but she didn’t know HOW. She rarely met men she felt a spark with and when she did, she felt like it…
Dating During the Holidays – Why You Should NOT WAIT until the New Year to Date

Dating During the Holidays – Why You Should NOT WAIT until the New Year to Date

To date or not to date during the holidays that is the question. We emphatically say DO IT if you really want to meet someone. This is a great time of year to date for a number of reasons, which we talk about in todays Date to Soul Mate Show. Don’t let your brain come up with all sorts of noble obstacles (excuses) why now isn’t a good time. Don’t rationalize why you aren’t ready yet or that you need…

when he finds you sooner than expected

Commitment is the prerequisite for success in any area of your life. If you are committed, no matter what challenge you face you will pop back up like the bozo the clown bop bag (google it if we are dating ourselves 🤡 ). When you go all in, your mind commits to a successful outcome. Failure is NOT an option. Change is uncomfortable and exactly what is required to get the result you want. We love messages like this! It’s great when…

She Used to Believe it COULDN’T Happen for Her… Then it Did!

We just got this message from a client who USED to believe this couldn’t happen for her. We are so excited for her and my ❤️ is full! This is what happens when you take committed action, take different actions then before and follow a step-by-step system.   FIND & ATTRACT Your IDEAL MAN in the SHORTEST TIME possible by following a simple system that’s led thousands of modern, professional women to build lasting relationships with their ideal man. If you are…
Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting over each day and each moment is key in life.  Get a fresh start today by using the clear the calculator technique.  You don’t have to wait till tomorrow to start again or star over in life.  Now is the time. Usually when we think of starting over we think of it as some big Jerry Maguire moment where we completely separate ourselves from our old life and take drastic action. Starting over can happen each day.  It can…

The Problem with Striving for Non-Stop Joy and Ease

We’ve been seeing A LOT of social media posts, videos and articles from “gooroos” lately talking about how you NEED to experience never ending JOY and EASE in your life. The message is that if it doesn’t feel easy.. If you aren’t JOYFUL all the time while living then you are not doing it right. There is something wrong in your approach. If you aren’t experiencing complete joy and ease with your partner there is something wrong. And that message…
Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

  Moving on after divorce can be rough.  Some people stay stuck mentally or emotionally after their divorce for months, years or even decades.  Divorce recovery doesn’t just take time, it also takes specific actions on your part. In this episode we talk with a woman from Virginia who is a single mom and is dating.  She has been divorced about 6 years. In Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS we have conversations with REAL people about their love lives. We…

How one woman found love online with a guy she previously would’ve rejected.

We are so happy for one of our clients.  She took responsibility for her results in love.  She reached out to work with us. She committed to doing things differently.  She put in the hard work. She made some significant changes in a very short amount of time. She has fallen in love with an amazing guy who is perfect for HER. Here is the message she just sent to us….. BRAVO! We couldn’t be happier for you and you…

THE BIGGER FOOL THEORY IN ACTION according to a “Reader” of ours.

We recently received a message from someone on facebook. She had some strong opinions about what we do and the people we work with. We love hearing ALL opinions. This person’s message helps us clear up some faulty assumptions about who we help and what we do. Thanks for giving us this opportunity. 1. Yes, if you want different results in your life, YOU will need to do something different.  YOU will have to make a change if you want things…

The deeper I get into the important areas of my life, the more satisfaction and success I get out of consistently doing the fundamental basics day in and day out.

I’m no longer chasing cool or sexy “new” things. I’m simply showing up everyday and getting better at and taking more satisfaction in the important basic actions of being…… -a husband -a dad -a business owner -a friend -a Psychologist/change agent -a writer -a community member I’m loving taking more pride and satisfaction in what most would consider boring or would overlook as obvious (but don’t actually do). Dr. Michael Arn      

“WHO IS HELPING THE MEN GET THEIR ACTS TOGETHER?”

This is a question we received from a woman today. We answered: “There are many coaches and experts helping men. Many men are seeking this help. It’s a huge million dollar industry. We happen to specialize in working with women. Have a great day.” The sad part to us is that she is asking a question that dis-empowers her. It takes her away from her own success. It focuses her on something she can’t control. With our clients, one of…
Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Today let’s get down to some real online dating advice. Certain aspects of online dating are maddening. Dealing with all the douche’s, pervs, players, haters and flakes out there is enough to make you want to become a nun and commit your life to ANYTHING other than a member of the male species. You know what we’re talking about. Those douchey or pervy messages you get from guys. Crudely commenting on how you look. Messaging you… “let’s f##k” as their…
Why Do Men Cheat – Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS #61

Why Do Men Cheat – Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS #61

Many of us have experienced being cheated on. The experience often leaves you with unanswered questions. Why do men cheat? Do all men cheat? In this episode we talk with a woman from Michigan about how she is dealing with her recent divorce after discovering her ex-husband was repeatedly cheating. She even recently had a date after meeting a guy on the dance floor. In Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS we have conversations with REAL people about their love lives.…

Attraction and Chemistry are a lot like Motivation.

Most people wait and depend on someone or something outside of themselves to give them motivation or attraction.   That’s why motivation and attraction rarely happen and are short lived when they do occur.   Yes, some of attraction is innate and totally outside of our control.   Yet, much of attraction and chemistry for someone else starts within you.   The energy, boldness and playfulness you bring to an interaction with someone is huge.   The parts of you…
The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

If you want to be one of the world’s foremost experts in unhappiness and loneliness we have a great strategy for you. Sure, there are many unhappy people out there, but with dedicated practice you can learn to surpass most other people’s unhappiness. First, identify the best practices out there in terms of how to find love and how to be happy. Discover what the happiest and most in love people have done to get there. Take each one of these…
What frame of Meaning are You Using?

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

Our 5-year-old son, Mason, asked me what it means when you hear sirens from firetrucks and the ambulance. I told him it means there are brave and courageous men and women going to help someone. The sirens are an affirmation that there are helpers out there at all times. That’s the frame of meaning I choose to believe and choose to convey to Mason. You could put a different frame of meaning on it. It could mean that someone is…

Approach Your Love Life as a Series of Sprints

We were talking with our workshop clients today about the importance of approaching dating & relationships as a SERIES OF SPRINTS.   You want to SPRINT (work hard, go on dates, interact with people on a dating site or app etc.) and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Go all out for a period of time. Invest a lot of your time and energy into finding the right person. Sprint…
How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

Megan was 34. She had a graduate degree and a great career. She was attractive, fit and smart. She had a full life. Yet she kept dating the wrong men. Sure, men were pursuing her, but all these guys were way off from what she was looking for…. OR She was into a guy, only to have him leave her after things seemed to be going great. She was stuck in a repeating cycle of wrong guy after wrong guy.…
“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

Those were the words that changed our client’s life. We just got off the phone with a client who is in an exclusive relationship with an amazing guy. We are so proud of her. She told us that she decided to work with us after hearing those words. Her boyfriend told her those exact words. It was the second time in her life where she thought things were going well, only to find out her boyfriend wasn’t ready for a…

We are doing a happy dance!

We could not be starting out our week in a better way than doing a happy dance for one of our clients! She posted this in our group last week. It is unbelievable the GRIT she put into making her dream a reality. When she came to us, she was disheartened, disappointed, and frustrated with the fact that she kept meeting the WRONG men who were not of her caliber and did not deserve all of the amazing things she brings…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…