Find Him | Attract Him | Become Soul Mates for Life

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Inspiration and Motivation

Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting over each day and each moment is key in life.  Get a fresh start today by using the clear the calculator technique.  You don’t have to wait till tomorrow to start again or star over in life.  Now is the time. Usually when we think of starting over we think of it as some big Jerry Maguire moment where we completely separate ourselves from our old life and take drastic action. Starting over can happen each day.  It can…

The Problem with Striving for Non-Stop Joy and Ease

We’ve been seeing A LOT of social media posts, videos and articles from “gooroos” lately talking about how you NEED to experience never ending JOY and EASE in your life. The message is that if it doesn’t feel easy.. If you aren’t JOYFUL all the time while living then you are not doing it right. There is something wrong in your approach. If you aren’t experiencing complete joy and ease with your partner there is something wrong. And that message…
Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

  Moving on after divorce can be rough.  Some people stay stuck mentally or emotionally after their divorce for months, years or even decades.  Divorce recovery doesn’t just take time, it also takes specific actions on your part. In this episode we talk with a woman from Virginia who is a single mom and is dating.  She has been divorced about 6 years. In Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS we have conversations with REAL people about their love lives. We…

How one woman found love online with a guy she previously would’ve rejected.

We are so happy for one of our clients.  She took responsibility for her results in love.  She reached out to work with us. She committed to doing things differently.  She put in the hard work. She made some significant changes in a very short amount of time. She has fallen in love with an amazing guy who is perfect for HER. Here is the message she just sent to us….. BRAVO! We couldn’t be happier for you and you…

THE BIGGER FOOL THEORY IN ACTION according to a “Reader” of ours.

We recently received a message from someone on facebook. She had some strong opinions about what we do and the people we work with. We love hearing ALL opinions. This person’s message helps us clear up some faulty assumptions about who we help and what we do. Thanks for giving us this opportunity. 1. Yes, if you want different results in your life, YOU will need to do something different.  YOU will have to make a change if you want things…

The deeper I get into the important areas of my life, the more satisfaction and success I get out of consistently doing the fundamental basics day in and day out.

I’m no longer chasing cool or sexy “new” things. I’m simply showing up everyday and getting better at and taking more satisfaction in the important basic actions of being…… -a husband -a dad -a business owner -a friend -a Psychologist/change agent -a writer -a community member I’m loving taking more pride and satisfaction in what most would consider boring or would overlook as obvious (but don’t actually do). Dr. Michael Arn      

“WHO IS HELPING THE MEN GET THEIR ACTS TOGETHER?”

This is a question we received from a woman today. We answered: “There are many coaches and experts helping men. Many men are seeking this help. It’s a huge million dollar industry. We happen to specialize in working with women. Have a great day.” The sad part to us is that she is asking a question that dis-empowers her. It takes her away from her own success. It focuses her on something she can’t control. With our clients, one of…
Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Online Dating Advice – How to Deal with Douches, Pervs, and Flakes

Today let’s get down to some real online dating advice. Certain aspects of online dating are maddening. Dealing with all the douche’s, pervs, players, haters and flakes out there is enough to make you want to become a nun and commit your life to ANYTHING other than a member of the male species. You know what we’re talking about. Those douchey or pervy messages you get from guys. Crudely commenting on how you look. Messaging you… “let’s f##k” as their…
Why Do Men Cheat – Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS #61

Why Do Men Cheat – Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS #61

Many of us have experienced being cheated on. The experience often leaves you with unanswered questions. Why do men cheat? Do all men cheat? In this episode we talk with a woman from Michigan about how she is dealing with her recent divorce after discovering her ex-husband was repeatedly cheating. She even recently had a date after meeting a guy on the dance floor. In Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS we have conversations with REAL people about their love lives.…

Attraction and Chemistry are a lot like Motivation.

Most people wait and depend on someone or something outside of themselves to give them motivation or attraction.   That’s why motivation and attraction rarely happen and are short lived when they do occur.   Yes, some of attraction is innate and totally outside of our control.   Yet, much of attraction and chemistry for someone else starts within you.   The energy, boldness and playfulness you bring to an interaction with someone is huge.   The parts of you…
The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

The “It probably works, but not for me” strategy.

If you want to be one of the world’s foremost experts in unhappiness and loneliness we have a great strategy for you. Sure, there are many unhappy people out there, but with dedicated practice you can learn to surpass most other people’s unhappiness. First, identify the best practices out there in terms of how to find love and how to be happy. Discover what the happiest and most in love people have done to get there. Take each one of these…
What frame of Meaning are You Using?

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

Our 5-year-old son, Mason, asked me what it means when you hear sirens from firetrucks and the ambulance. I told him it means there are brave and courageous men and women going to help someone. The sirens are an affirmation that there are helpers out there at all times. That’s the frame of meaning I choose to believe and choose to convey to Mason. You could put a different frame of meaning on it. It could mean that someone is…

Approach Your Love Life as a Series of Sprints

We were talking with our workshop clients today about the importance of approaching dating & relationships as a SERIES OF SPRINTS.   You want to SPRINT (work hard, go on dates, interact with people on a dating site or app etc.) and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Go all out for a period of time. Invest a lot of your time and energy into finding the right person. Sprint…
How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

Megan was 34. She had a graduate degree and a great career. She was attractive, fit and smart. She had a full life. Yet she kept dating the wrong men. Sure, men were pursuing her, but all these guys were way off from what she was looking for…. OR She was into a guy, only to have him leave her after things seemed to be going great. She was stuck in a repeating cycle of wrong guy after wrong guy.…
“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

“I’m not able to give you what I think you’re looking for”

Those were the words that changed our client’s life. We just got off the phone with a client who is in an exclusive relationship with an amazing guy. We are so proud of her. She told us that she decided to work with us after hearing those words. Her boyfriend told her those exact words. It was the second time in her life where she thought things were going well, only to find out her boyfriend wasn’t ready for a…

We are doing a happy dance!

We could not be starting out our week in a better way than doing a happy dance for one of our clients! She posted this in our group last week. It is unbelievable the GRIT she put into making her dream a reality. When she came to us, she was disheartened, disappointed, and frustrated with the fact that she kept meeting the WRONG men who were not of her caliber and did not deserve all of the amazing things she brings…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…

They thought she was sick, but what came next changed everything…

We know a couple. They got married in 1963. She had moved to the United States from Europe as an interpreter. He served in the Army and had moved back home to work in the family business. They met in a restaurant two years before getting married. They came from different family backgrounds, yet in others ways had a lot in common. They fell in love and created a life together. They bought a house. Made friends as a couple.…
Why don’t MEN change?

Why don’t MEN change?

We receive A LOT of messages and comments wondering why women have to change…. Why don’t men change? Why don’t you teach guys how to be better men? Here are a few of the messages we’ve received recently…..; “So the only way they are going to help anyone is if they start re-educating men! Teach them how to be DECENT Human Beings. That’s the problem. That is why over half of the female population is single. Women choose to be…
She’s getting married in November

She’s getting married in November

It’s celebration time. Our client Angela is getting married in November to a MAN that she’s been dreaming of for a long time. For many years it seemed like he might just be that. A dream. A dream that never turns into reality. For a long time, Angela felt successful in other areas of her life, but kept dating guys who wouldn’t open up to her, didn’t feel right or wouldn’t commit. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t having…

Breaking free of the bread crumbers…..

We got off the phone with a client who finally broke her main forever single dating pattern. She had been dating bread crumbers for a LONG time. For the past two years she had dated a guy on and off who bread crumbed her the whole time. She had given her blood, sweat and tears to this guy and got very little in return. She was showing up day after day for this guy. Meeting his needs. Stepping up to…
Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

If you want to break out of dating the wrong guys over and over again you need a system. If you want to stop searching endless profiles online of guys you don’t like you need a system. To do anything great long term you need a system. Whether it’s your health, physical fitness, your career or having great relationships with others you need a system for long term success. Most of people don’t have a system when it comes to dating.…
Who are you NOT dating anymore?

Who are you NOT dating anymore?

We work with many clients in our live workshop and in our ongoing mentorship program. One of the first things we do with them is get CRYSTAL clear about who they won’t be dating anymore. Yes it’s important to know WHO is right for you. In the beginning it’s more important to know who you WON’T date from this day forward. Notice, we didn’t way wrong for you. Many of us continue to date people who are wrong for us.…
Can’t stop the Perfection….

Can’t stop the Perfection….

In our household the theme song from Troll’s plays a lot right now. Our son Mason is a huge fan. Can’t stop the feeling…… Can’t stop the feeling….. We usually have it stuck in our heads. Most of us have another song stuck in our heads day in and day out. It’ called… Can’t stop the perfection…. We play it all day – everyday. We strive to be perfect. In every area of our lives. We NEED to have the…
You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

Most of our clients initially come to us for dating and relationship strategies. They know we’ve created a proven system for finding love with the right person and they want to KNOW the tactics we teach. People focus on tips and tactics. You want to know how to flirt. Where to find the right person. What site or app to use. What to say. Same with dieting.  We want to know the latest tactic or strategy for losing weight. Most…
What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

Sarah came to us in a sweat of panic and debilitating confusion. She knew she was stuck… She was trapped in several of the forever single dating patterns… She was excruciatingly aware that she was meeting guys who weren’t right for her. She kept dating these guys who seemed right but were breadcrumbing her. She was also meeting a gang of guys who were WAY off from what she was looking for. She KNEW there was better guys out there… Several…
Don’t be Catfished in Online Dating

Don’t be Catfished in Online Dating

Can you imagine talking to who you think is an attractive CFO named Derek but is instead a slobbering pervert and sex addict who lives in his mama’s basement? You know what we’re talking about. The ultimate catfish. It’s dating the biggest liar of them all. We’ve all heard the catfish horror stories. There are many people who tell lies in their dating life. These lies range from the white variety to the I’m nothing like who I said I…
What are you avoiding?

What are you avoiding?

What are 2 crucial steps you’re avoiding doing when it comes to dating or love? These are 2 actions you know you should do to find the right person for you, but you’ve been putting them off. Avoiding them. Saying you’ll do them next week. We all have things that are important for us to be doing that we are totally avoiding. We do it in all areas of our lives. We avoid working out. We avoid eating vegetables. We avoid…
The Invisible Consequences of an Amazing Relationship

The Invisible Consequences of an Amazing Relationship

Everything you want or do in life comes with benefits and costs. Nothing is totally great or bad. Some of the worst things in life have unintended benefits… Lets rap about something everyone would say isn’t good for your life… Drinking too much alcohol. You can also get some hidden “benefits” when you drink too much. You get a release from the stress of life and can let go. People connect to you through your drinking or your drinking problem.…