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Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Relationship Advice

Top 4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away

Top 4 Reasons Why Men Pull Away

Discover why men pull away after getting close.  Why do men disappear after things seemed to be going well?  We’ll answer these questions for you once and for all. It really hurts when a guy you’re dating just disappears. You have a great date and you never hear from him again. You have a great first few months only to have him ghost on you. Or Maybe you have some flirty and fun messages back and forth online or on…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…

They thought she was sick, but what came next changed everything…

We know a couple. They got married in 1963. She had moved to the United States from Europe as an interpreter. He served in the Army and had moved back home to work in the family business. They met in a restaurant two years before getting married. They came from different family backgrounds, yet in others ways had a lot in common. They fell in love and created a life together. They bought a house. Made friends as a couple.…
Why don’t MEN change?

Why don’t MEN change?

We receive A LOT of messages and comments wondering why women have to change…. Why don’t men change? Why don’t you teach guys how to be better men? Here are a few of the messages we’ve received recently…..; “So the only way they are going to help anyone is if they start re-educating men! Teach them how to be DECENT Human Beings. That’s the problem. That is why over half of the female population is single. Women choose to be…
She’s getting married in November

She’s getting married in November

It’s celebration time. Our client Angela is getting married in November to a MAN that she’s been dreaming of for a long time. For many years it seemed like he might just be that. A dream. A dream that never turns into reality. For a long time, Angela felt successful in other areas of her life, but kept dating guys who wouldn’t open up to her, didn’t feel right or wouldn’t commit. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t having…

The 1 rule to have in dating…

We don’t believe in “rules” when it comes to dating and love. Even that “rule” we believe in breaking from time to time. If you are dating it’s important to set one rule for yourself….. NEVER GIVE ANYONE MONEY THAT YOU’RE DATING! Don’t do it. Not for any reason. Not for any “story” they have. There are criminal networks out there obsessing over ways to prey on someone feeling lonely and extracting as much money from you as they can.…

Breaking free of the bread crumbers…..

We got off the phone with a client who finally broke her main forever single dating pattern. She had been dating bread crumbers for a LONG time. For the past two years she had dated a guy on and off who bread crumbed her the whole time. She had given her blood, sweat and tears to this guy and got very little in return. She was showing up day after day for this guy. Meeting his needs. Stepping up to…
Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

Are you making choices from your feelings or your system?

If you want to break out of dating the wrong guys over and over again you need a system. If you want to stop searching endless profiles online of guys you don’t like you need a system. To do anything great long term you need a system. Whether it’s your health, physical fitness, your career or having great relationships with others you need a system for long term success. Most of people don’t have a system when it comes to dating.…
Can’t stop the Perfection….

Can’t stop the Perfection….

In our household the theme song from Troll’s plays a lot right now. Our son Mason is a huge fan. Can’t stop the feeling…… Can’t stop the feeling….. We usually have it stuck in our heads. Most of us have another song stuck in our heads day in and day out. It’ called… Can’t stop the perfection…. We play it all day – everyday. We strive to be perfect. In every area of our lives. We NEED to have the…
You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

You can’t be successful in love without this one thing!

Most of our clients initially come to us for dating and relationship strategies. They know we’ve created a proven system for finding love with the right person and they want to KNOW the tactics we teach. People focus on tips and tactics. You want to know how to flirt. Where to find the right person. What site or app to use. What to say. Same with dieting.  We want to know the latest tactic or strategy for losing weight. Most…
Do you really need chemistry with a guy?

Do you really need chemistry with a guy?

He’s soooo nice, BUT I’m not into him! He’s a great guy, BUT I don’t feel any chemistry! He wants to be with me, BUT I’m not attracted to him! Many of the clients we work with come to us initially having zero chemistry with the men their “SUPPOSED” to like and having a lot of chemistry with emotionally unavailable men. Their frustrated that they aren’t attracted to these NICE and GOOD guys. The questions is… Do you really need…
Music, wine and your packaging

Music, wine and your packaging

Last Friday and Saturday we went to a local concert here in Sonoma, CA called Huichica. The whole shindig is held at a cool winery called Gundlach Bunschu or Gunbun as the locals like to call it. So it was a weekend full of music, wine and great food. It was also a great place to do some people watching… As you know, we are psychologists so we love people watching. One of the most interesting parts of people watching…
You are only ONE green light signal or conversation away from finding the love of your life…..

You are only ONE green light signal or conversation away from finding the love of your life…..

You just don’t know which green light signal it will be! That’s right. One green light signal or one conversation with the RIGHT PERSON at the RIGHT TIME will change the course of your life. The problem is we don’t connect with each other anymore. We are more unapproachable than ever. We are stuck in our phones, stuck in our mental to do list, and running from one activity to another. We also have our walls up because we’ve been hurt…
Are you pen pals or are you ACTUALLY dating?

Are you pen pals or are you ACTUALLY dating?

There is a special kind of boiling frustration that engulfs you when a guy you met online continues to want to be message pals or text buddies. The dreaded never ending messages. He messages you over and over again. or He halfheartedly messages you every once in awhile. All without ever asking you out on a REAL DATE. The growing resentment inside of you explodes when he send you another “what’s up” message. The worst part of it is you…
What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

We LOVE San Francisco. We love going there for weekend romantic getaways. In fact, our FAVORITE Italian restaurant in the whole world is there, Franchino’s. It’s the kind of restaurant where it feels like your mother is doing the cooking, only its a version of your mother that is an even better cook. (sshhhh don’t tell our mothers we said that) It’s run by an Italian family. The father is the host and runs the front end of the restaurant…
What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

What are the root causes of the Forever Single Dating Patterns?

Sarah came to us in a sweat of panic and debilitating confusion. She knew she was stuck… She was trapped in several of the forever single dating patterns… She was excruciatingly aware that she was meeting guys who weren’t right for her. She kept dating these guys who seemed right but were breadcrumbing her. She was also meeting a gang of guys who were WAY off from what she was looking for. She KNEW there was better guys out there… Several…
When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

Our internal voices are either our jailers or they lead you to living an authentic and fulfilling life. We all hear voices. Don’t let any psychiatrist tell you differently. Your internal voices are simply your conscious and unconscious thoughts. You have roughly 60 THOUSAND thoughts per day. Some of them are helpful. Many of them are harmful to your happiness and goals. How do you know when to TRUST your inner voice and when to ignore it? Us humans are…
What Makes a Man WANT to Commit to You

What Makes a Man WANT to Commit to You

What makes a man want to commit to the right woman? The number one thing we hear from women every single day is that they only meet men who are NOT looking for the one thing they want—a committed relationship. These men usually want to date “casually”, when things are convenient for them, no strings attached. Here is the biggest problem, often times things with this kind of man are HOT. When you are with him, you feel chemistry, connection,…
Be the Spark and Make One Small Change Today – 5 Minute Mindfulness & Meditation

Be the Spark and Make One Small Change Today – 5 Minute Mindfulness & Meditation

We have a new 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation for you today.  This episode is all about how you can make one small change today to be a catalyst for a whole different life in the future.  Be the spark as we call it.  It’s powerful and simple at the same time. Be the Spark – 5 Minute Mindfulness & Meditation Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn
Attractive Complementary Qualities

Attractive Complementary Qualities

On Today’s Date to Soul Mate Show Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn talk about How you can be your most attractive self using Attractive Complementary Qualities. Attractive Complementary Qualities – The Date to Soul Mate Show APPLY FOR A FREE ATTRACT THE MAN YOU WANT PERSONALIZED BLUEPRINT! FIND & ATTRACT Your IDEAL MAN in the SHORTEST TIME possible by following a simple system that’s led thousands of modern, professional women to build lasting relationships with their ideal man. If…
What are you avoiding?

What are you avoiding?

What are 2 crucial steps you’re avoiding doing when it comes to dating or love? These are 2 actions you know you should do to find the right person for you, but you’ve been putting them off. Avoiding them. Saying you’ll do them next week. We all have things that are important for us to be doing that we are totally avoiding. We do it in all areas of our lives. We avoid working out. We avoid eating vegetables. We avoid…
Men aren’t from Mars and you’re not from Venus

Men aren’t from Mars and you’re not from Venus

What a ridiculous concept.  That men and women are from different planets. That we are so different we need to come up with a way to understand each other’s completely different planetary languages. Well if it’s so ridiculous why has this idea become so popular? First of all, the popularity of an idea has nothing to do with its accuracy or validity. Think about Trickle Down Economics as an idea. Popular with a lot of people. Total BS. Second, it’s…
The Curse of the One Hit Wonder

The Curse of the One Hit Wonder

  I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink He drinks a Lager drink,…
The compatibility yoda speaketh….

The compatibility yoda speaketh….

Would you know with CERTAINTY whether the person you’re with is the one for you long term or not? 99% of people in the world would have no clue. We definitely didn’t know years ago. We had no clue about REAL compatibility. Even though we were Psychologists and had done research into couples and thousands of hours of therapy and coaching with people. We had read hundreds of books on dating, love and relationships. Many research journals. Still we didn’t…
Why making the wrong decision is better than no decision

Why making the wrong decision is better than no decision

You are better off making the wrong decision than you are analyzing the situation to death in your head. Why is this true? Because making decisions provides you with real world feedback.  It enables you to have positive momentum. It also allows you to make an even better future decision. Once you’ve made an imperfect choice, you can make an even better future decision after factoring in the real world feedback you’ll receive. Your choices and actions are ALWAYS imperfect. Don’t…
THE DISEASE OF MORE THINKING

THE DISEASE OF MORE THINKING

Picture this: your mind is racing wondering what to say or do about the current guy you’re dating. He’s not texting you back. He’s not asking you out again. He’s acting hot and cold. You think of all these scenarios about WHY he is acting this way. and What you can do about it. You talk to your friends about it. You read blogs. Maybe you even follow the so called “rules” of dating to try to MAKE him pursue you.…
The Invisible Consequences of an Amazing Relationship

The Invisible Consequences of an Amazing Relationship

Everything you want or do in life comes with benefits and costs. Nothing is totally great or bad. Some of the worst things in life have unintended benefits… Lets rap about something everyone would say isn’t good for your life… Drinking too much alcohol. You can also get some hidden “benefits” when you drink too much. You get a release from the stress of life and can let go. People connect to you through your drinking or your drinking problem.…