Find Him | Attract Him | Become Soul Mates for Life

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Work/Love Success

We all Perform Magic

We hope you had a FANTASTIC weekend. We had a blast at our son’s 6th birthday on Saturday. We hired a magician and 24 children were spellbound by his tricks (many of us adults were too). If you really think about it, what does a magician do? Mainly a magician directs your attention and focus in one particular direction. He gets you to focus over here while he’s doing the trick over there., completely out of your focus of attention.…

DO LESS – SUCCEED MORE

Years ago, when we did in person therapy with people, we learned something simple yet profound. You see, we had an office and our clients would come and talk to us in the traditional therapisty manner. They would sit on our couch and we’d talk about their issues. The prevailing wisdom was you NEEDED to take MASSIVE ACTION to get over any problems or succeed in an area. All the gurus were touting this massive action credo. They still do…

Live in the Present – 5 Minute Mindfulness & Meditation

We’ve got a treat for you today, but before we get to that you want to know this….. In relationships, it’s almost never a straight line to getting it right. There is often a person BEFORE your person. What often seems like the right person for you is simply the person who is helping you grow so that you can meet your person. That’s right! We often believe someone is right for us and they’re not. We stress about a…

How to have Superpowers this Week!

It’s MONDAY. Do you feel like you have a million things you COULD DO? Does it feel like you have more things to do than time to do it? The brutal truth is most things we do DON’T MATTER. Most of our lives are spent talking about and doing things that don’t have a meaningful impact on our life or goals. THIS IS GOOD. It means we could drop the ball on most things we are currently doing and nothing…
Live the Good Life – These are the Keys to the GOOD LIFE

Live the Good Life – These are the Keys to the GOOD LIFE

Do you want to live the good life?  Today we’ll teach you what it takes to live a life full of love, happiness and impact. “There is no heavier burden than an unfulfilled potential” – Charles Schulz Happy Friday TEAM ARN, We want to give you so much VALUE today that you explode into your weekend with purpose and intention.  We show up DAILY for you in this VIP newsletter to help YOU show up daily in your own life. We know that…

Judging People – Use Other People’s Judgments to Your Favor

Should we stop judging people?  Can we stop others from judging us? We all judge people. When we’re out running errands, at work, socializing with friends, hanging with family, we judge people. People would be frightened if they KNEW our worst thoughts about others. We are 24/7 judgy judgersons. You can’t stop it. You also can’t stop others from judging you. The best thing to do is to use other people’s judgements of you to your advantage. You see, there…
How to Improve Your Life – 5 People Will Determine the Quality of Your Life!

How to Improve Your Life – 5 People Will Determine the Quality of Your Life!

Today we talk about how to improve your life by building relationships that last with the right people. Who do you spend the most time with? Do you really know them? Do they add to the quality of your life? The 5 people you devote the majority of your relationship time and energy to will by and large determine the quality of your life!  That’s why building relationships that last with the right people is so important. Why are these people so…
Get Unstuck with Tiny wins

Get Unstuck with Tiny wins

It’s time for you to get unstuck and gain momentum in your life! We had a great weekend. We love to cook and host people and had quite a few friends over this weekend. We also got to spend time having fun with our little man, laughing and doing all sorts of crazy things. We woke up to this message from a client today who got unstuck… “I thought I’d let you know that I have connected with men much…

Why Tom Brady could meet the man of his Dreams

Tom Brady might have just lost the Superbowl, but if he was single and looking to meet the man (or woman) of his dreams he’d able to do it and we will tell you why. Today on our live call with our clients we laid out a specific system for how to meet the kind of man they’re looking for offline. Yes. You heard that right. We showed these lovely ladies exactly how to find this type of guy without…
Feeling better vs. BEING better

Feeling better vs. BEING better

If you had a bad day and are just venting, we recommend you vent in a private journal and not on a public facebook post. Believe it or not, the people you’re dating are looking you up. We once had a client who couldn’t figure out why she was having so much trouble in the beginning stages of dating. People were initially interested in her but quickly disappeared. After 2 minutes of online research, we discovered that she was saying…
What are Your Flat Tires…

What are Your Flat Tires…

We took our son Mason Bowling over the weekend. He loves bowling. Mainly because he gets to use bumpers, so he can’t throw the ole gutter ball. On our way to the bowling alley, out of nowhere we start to hear a loud thumping noise. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP! This was instantly scary as we were going at least 55 miles per hour. We both looked at each other in panic but within a few seconds…

Are you Trying TOO Many things in Dating?

I was playing basketball with our son Mason yesterday. We were shooting hoops and I felt like I couldn’t miss. I kept shooting and it kept going in. It was a really good feeling.   As I thought about it, I realized that for the past several years I had settled on shooting a basketball with a certain form. I chose a particular way to shoot the ball and stuck with it.   Every time I played basketball I shot…
Time Management and Productivity in Dating

Time Management and Productivity in Dating

Does time management matter in dating? Can you be productive when it comes to your love life? The answer is YES! What you spend your precious time and energy DOING in your love life is crucial. There are specific actions you can take that have huge return on time investments in dating. These actions lead you to attract and connect with the right people. They directly lead you to creating a lasting relationship. Conversely, most things you CAN do in…
Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting Over – 5 Minute Mindfulness and Meditation

Starting over each day and each moment is key in life.  Get a fresh start today by using the clear the calculator technique.  You don’t have to wait till tomorrow to start again or star over in life.  Now is the time. Usually when we think of starting over we think of it as some big Jerry Maguire moment where we completely separate ourselves from our old life and take drastic action. Starting over can happen each day.  It can…
Givers and Takers – Who Wins in Love and Life

Givers and Takers – Who Wins in Love and Life

I’ve been studying successful people from different time periods recently. Abraham Lincoln was a big giver in his orientation toward others. Many people initially thought this was a weakness of his. They underestimated him as a result, however he consistently showed up as a giver and was extremely successful over the long haul as a result. It reminds me of this quote by Chip Conley “Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s valuable in a…
Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

Moving on After Divorce- LOVE LIVES OF THE REAL & NON-FAMOUS #63

  Moving on after divorce can be rough.  Some people stay stuck mentally or emotionally after their divorce for months, years or even decades.  Divorce recovery doesn’t just take time, it also takes specific actions on your part. In this episode we talk with a woman from Virginia who is a single mom and is dating.  She has been divorced about 6 years. In Love Lives of the REAL & NON-FAMOUS we have conversations with REAL people about their love lives. We…

How one woman found love online with a guy she previously would’ve rejected.

We are so happy for one of our clients.  She took responsibility for her results in love.  She reached out to work with us. She committed to doing things differently.  She put in the hard work. She made some significant changes in a very short amount of time. She has fallen in love with an amazing guy who is perfect for HER. Here is the message she just sent to us….. BRAVO! We couldn’t be happier for you and you…

The deeper I get into the important areas of my life, the more satisfaction and success I get out of consistently doing the fundamental basics day in and day out.

I’m no longer chasing cool or sexy “new” things. I’m simply showing up everyday and getting better at and taking more satisfaction in the important basic actions of being…… -a husband -a dad -a business owner -a friend -a Psychologist/change agent -a writer -a community member I’m loving taking more pride and satisfaction in what most would consider boring or would overlook as obvious (but don’t actually do). Dr. Michael Arn      

“WHO IS HELPING THE MEN GET THEIR ACTS TOGETHER?”

This is a question we received from a woman today. We answered: “There are many coaches and experts helping men. Many men are seeking this help. It’s a huge million dollar industry. We happen to specialize in working with women. Have a great day.” The sad part to us is that she is asking a question that dis-empowers her. It takes her away from her own success. It focuses her on something she can’t control. With our clients, one of…
What frame of Meaning are You Using?

What frame of Meaning are You Using?

Our 5-year-old son, Mason, asked me what it means when you hear sirens from firetrucks and the ambulance. I told him it means there are brave and courageous men and women going to help someone. The sirens are an affirmation that there are helpers out there at all times. That’s the frame of meaning I choose to believe and choose to convey to Mason. You could put a different frame of meaning on it. It could mean that someone is…

Approach Your Love Life as a Series of Sprints

We were talking with our workshop clients today about the importance of approaching dating & relationships as a SERIES OF SPRINTS.   You want to SPRINT (work hard, go on dates, interact with people on a dating site or app etc.) and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Sprint and take a break.   Go all out for a period of time. Invest a lot of your time and energy into finding the right person. Sprint…
How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

How Megan Stopped Dating the Wrong Guys Over and Over

Megan was 34. She had a graduate degree and a great career. She was attractive, fit and smart. She had a full life. Yet she kept dating the wrong men. Sure, men were pursuing her, but all these guys were way off from what she was looking for…. OR She was into a guy, only to have him leave her after things seemed to be going great. She was stuck in a repeating cycle of wrong guy after wrong guy.…
4 Online Dating Tips for Women

4 Online Dating Tips for Women

In the latest Date to Soul Mate Show we talk about 4 steps to successfully find the right person online. Online dating can be a complete time and energy wasting rabbit hole. We also have many clients who find love online after years of dating the wrong people. If you focus on these 4 steps you put yourself in a much better position to find the right person for you online. APPLY FOR A FREE ATTRACT THE MAN YOU WANT…

We are doing a happy dance!

We could not be starting out our week in a better way than doing a happy dance for one of our clients! She posted this in our group last week. It is unbelievable the GRIT she put into making her dream a reality. When she came to us, she was disheartened, disappointed, and frustrated with the fact that she kept meeting the WRONG men who were not of her caliber and did not deserve all of the amazing things she brings…
Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Is Comfort Holding You Back from Love?

Often what’s OKAY, GOOD or COMFORTABLE is the main obstacle to your ultimate fulfillment in love. Comfort and Okayness are dream killers. They seduce you into complacency. They cause you to retreat back to old habits that are comfortable yet hold you back when you hit a big challenge. They stop you from taking the emotionally hard actions that lead to experiencing the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Our clients have that “hell no” moment. That moment when…
She’s getting married in November

She’s getting married in November

It’s celebration time. Our client Angela is getting married in November to a MAN that she’s been dreaming of for a long time. For many years it seemed like he might just be that. A dream. A dream that never turns into reality. For a long time, Angela felt successful in other areas of her life, but kept dating guys who wouldn’t open up to her, didn’t feel right or wouldn’t commit. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t having…
Can’t stop the Perfection….

Can’t stop the Perfection….

In our household the theme song from Troll’s plays a lot right now. Our son Mason is a huge fan. Can’t stop the feeling…… Can’t stop the feeling….. We usually have it stuck in our heads. Most of us have another song stuck in our heads day in and day out. It’ called… Can’t stop the perfection…. We play it all day – everyday. We strive to be perfect. In every area of our lives. We NEED to have the…
What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

What you want DOESN’T matter if you don’t figure this out first….

We LOVE San Francisco. We love going there for weekend romantic getaways. In fact, our FAVORITE Italian restaurant in the whole world is there, Franchino’s. It’s the kind of restaurant where it feels like your mother is doing the cooking, only its a version of your mother that is an even better cook. (sshhhh don’t tell our mothers we said that) It’s run by an Italian family. The father is the host and runs the front end of the restaurant…
When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

When you shouldn’t listen to the voice inside

Our internal voices are either our jailers or they lead you to living an authentic and fulfilling life. We all hear voices. Don’t let any psychiatrist tell you differently. Your internal voices are simply your conscious and unconscious thoughts. You have roughly 60 THOUSAND thoughts per day. Some of them are helpful. Many of them are harmful to your happiness and goals. How do you know when to TRUST your inner voice and when to ignore it? Us humans are…