When you argue with your man what are you really arguing about?
What are you thinking during the argument?
What are you trying to do in the argument?
Most of our arguments and fights aren’t what they appear to be on the surface.
Whether you are arguing with some namby pamby on flakebook or your lip boxing with your lover, you are using all sorts of ninja like attacks and defensive moves that go deeper than just the topic of the argument.
On the surface you might be arguing about money, family issues, or each other’s behavior. Yes those are challenges and problems to be solved, but they aren’t usually why you are fighting.
The relationship gooroos out there will tell you that you need to learn to communicate. Rarely does this work. All the communication skills in the world won’t help you when you are going ballistic or feeling extremely defensive.
The truth is that we are arguing for many different reasons. Some have to do with your partner. Many are related to things outside your partner.
One of the most important skills you can develop in your intimate relationships is self-awareness. It is so important. Being clueless or delusional about why you are doing something is a recipe for disaster. Self-awareness is the antidote.
Being self-aware doesn’t mean you have to change what you are doing. It simply means you aren’t lying to yourself about your intentions or behavior. This is a huge key to finding lasting love.
Here is a great funny video about if couple’s fights were honest
If you want to gain more self-awareness check out our Meet Your Mr. Right Course.