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Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

First Date Advice – First date secrets revealed

Today we give you our best first date advice and tips.  Here is what to do if you want to stop having dysfunctional first dates.

First dates can really suck.  People tell us all the time they HATE first dates.

They are almost always….

  • Boring
  • Awkward
  • Predictable
  • Stuffy
  • Fake and unnatural

And worst of all……..

A complete waste of time.

And guess what?

When you do have a great first date, the guy totally flakes and you never see him again.

First dates are typically built up into pressure filled interviews.

This leaves very little room for chemistry or attraction.

The other problem is you usually aren’t TRULY meeting the person you’re on a first date with.

It takes a couple of dates for someone to let their guard down and for the two of you to show each other your true selves.

Most people never get to that place of genuinely and authentically connecting.

There is another way.

First dates don’t have to suck, but you’ll have to completely change your purpose going into a date.

Today in dating there are so many options and we have such busy lives, we are looking to eliminate potential matches as quickly as possible.

We are looking for red flags that someone isn’t a match for us right from the start.

We don’t want to waste ANY TIME with the wrong person.

This is the primary reason first dates are terrible for people.

When you are in the mode of picking apart people looking for any sign they aren’t right for you, you will not enjoy those interactions,

This mindset can block potential chemistry and attraction with someone.

It kills any connection you might have with a date.

In our attempt to date as efficiently as possible by ruling out people quickly, we are actually wasting more of our time by only getting to know people on a surface level and using negative stereotypes to rule someone out.

When you skip along in life on the surface level you won’t ever connect or get to know someone on a deep level.

What can you do instead on a first date?

First Date Advice – First date secrets revealed

first date advice

First, change your mindset in that you want to be open early about someone potentially being great for you and getting VERY selective or picky before exclusivity.

Don’t be uber selective on the first date.  Be uber selective after the 3-5 dates.

Second, go into the date looking for what you like about the person.  Find something to connect with them on. Look for similarities.  Discover what’s interesting about them.

Third, plan on going on a second date with this person.  Have your default position be that you will go on a second date with this person unless something big comes up that is a deal breaker of yours.

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

P.S. If you want to have your last first date, go fill out this quick form to see if or how we can help you.