How to be Attractive to a Man


Do you ever wonder “what attracts men?”

Have you ever thought “Am I attractive?”


It can be difficult to know what attracts the type of man you’re interested in. There is a lot of conflicting advice about what you need to do to be attractive to a man. Also, most of the advice focuses way too much on physical attraction.


We get so frustrated hearing all these false and conflicting tips about attraction. We are sickened by the abundance of terrible relationship advice being given to smart women. This relationship advice is even leading some women to feel that there might be something inherently wrong with them.


So, we are going to clear it up so you can understand exactly what attracts a man.


There are two types of attraction: physical attraction and emotional attraction.



Physical attraction is more about what you do with what you’ve got than what you’ve got. It’s less about your genetics and more about the effort you put into it. Regardless of whether you are rail thin or you have curves for days, you can still attract the man of your dreams… most likely.


You can have what you would consider physical flaws or a big this, a small that and still attract Mr. Right on one condition: You must take care of your packaging.



If you aren’t sure if your “packaging” is working for you, don’t be afraid to ask others for help! You can ask an expert, a friend, a colleague, or several people that you know to help you and provide you with honest feedback about your packaging. You can even search for tips online. The options available to you are endless.


Let’s be real here, we can all use a makeover from time to time.


Your packaging includes the following:

  • Your clothes
  • Your Health and Fitness
  • Your Hair
  • Your accessories


Although physical attraction isn’t the most important thing in the long run, not having the right outer package could stop your success before you even get started.


A man must be physically attracted to you, but emotional attraction is far and away the most important. Emotional attraction is what will really attract the type of man you desire. It will also be the thing that helps you to make love last for a lifetime.


Here are the Initial Emotional Attraction Triggers



A woman who is self-confident is extremely attractive to a man. We’re not talking about a false sense of confidence where you try to  control everything and appear to not have any weaknesses. We are talking about self-confidence, which means you confidently express everything about you. You’re able to confidently express your strengths, weaknesses, your passions, and your eccentricities. You’re also confident enough to flow back and forth from taking the lead in some instances to being vulnerable and letting your man take the lead in others.


When you are self-confident as a woman you take responsibility for your emotions and your choices. This is attractive to a man because he’ll know that you are okay and don’t need to be fixed or rescued. This allows a man to fully be himself with you.


You are the playful selector

To create an emotional attraction with a man in the beginning of a relationship, it’s best if you take the role of the playful selector. Your job when you’re dating is to playfully screen a man. You’re looking to see if he has the qualities that you’re looking for in your potential husband. You’re screening how he acts with you, how he acts with other people, his conversations, his behaviors, his likes and dislikes, and his overall values.


You can be challenging to a man as the selector in a very playful way. You’re not saying he needs to change at all, but what you are saying is “These are the things I’m looking for in a man. Hopefully, you’re the one. If not, that’s okay.”


In the end, it is you as the woman that selects one man, from the many that have been pursuing you.


He feels good in your presence

The third emotional attraction trigger in the beginning of a relationship is how a man feels in your presence. A man feels very attracted to a woman when he feels that you get him.


If you can be the playful selector and interact with him in a non-needy and undemanding way, he will feel good in your presence. He will be attracted to you when he feels good emotions when he’s around you. Men feel good around you when they experience your attention, your understanding, your warm presence, and your affection.


Say Yes to Love,

Dr. Michael Arn & Dr. Ashley Arn