Making the First Move – Good Idea or Bad Idea?

We just found a new house in our little wine town of Sonoma, CA.

We are excited and gearing up for the move.

It has a great kitchen that Ashley is excited to create in and has great walkability for Michael to “walk and think”.

It’s exciting yet nerve racking to move into a new place.

A lot like dating right…

We’ve heard a lot of lip boxing over the years about “making the first move”!

There has been a RULE going around for decades that a woman should NEVER be making the first move.

The first tip off that this is patently false are the words




Great advice rarely uses those words, because life isn’t black and white except when it is 🙂

See we didn’t say never there.

This MYTH that women should never be making the first move has been creating havoc in women’s lives for years.

#1 it gets you stuck in your head.

You are obsessively checking yourself and worrying if YOU are making the first move or if you should “ignore” him more or pull back.

#2 You are stuck in the place of waiting instead of creating your life.

You are WAITING for him to DO something. Only he’s not doing anything.

What could be more frustrating than that!

#3 It is the opposite of how the rest of our lives work.

You don’t wait for someone else to make the first move in the other areas of your life do you?


You move toward what you want. You create the context for you to get closer to the important things you desire.

#4 Guys want you to make the first move.

No, they don’t want you directly asking them to marry you in a deep trucker voice, but they do want you to lay out the red carpet so they can chase you.

They want to see the green light signals that they have a chance at winning before they chase you.

#5 Women have “made the first move” forever.

Yes, you heard that right and you heard it here first.

Women have always made the first move.

It just doesn’t look like “the first move”.

Guys don’t know you are making the first move.

It looks like he is making the first move.

He is doing all the direct actions….

approaching you.

getting your number.

asking you out on a date.

asking you out on a 2nd date and so on.

Little does he know that you CREATED THE CONTEXT FOR HIM TO PURSUE YOU.

You made it happen.

You set it up.

So in essence you made the first move, it’s just invisible to the untrained eye (which 99% of people have no clue).

He took it from there and the rest as they say is blissful history.

Don’t get caught up in all these FALSE and OUTDATED rules or myths.

All you’ll get is a headache from routinely banging your head against the wall in agony over your inability to attract the right guy for you.

Then there’s also the heartache of having the guys you like ignore you and the other slobbering blokes chasing after you.

If you want to learn how to make the first move on a guy, we’d love to take you by the hand and show you today.

Here’s where to go next:

The real myth busters,

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn