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Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael

Should I Sleep with Him?

We often get asked “Should I sleep with him?”  “Do I need to wait?” “Will he leave if I don’t?” Today we answer this age old question.

How many times have you wondered “should I sleep with him?”

What’s the current rule?

Wait at least two, five, or ten dates?

Should sex happen before or after exclusivity?

Should you sleep with other people at the same time if you aren’t exclusive or are dating multiple people?

Isn’t that like cheating?

This is a hot topic and we are about to say something crazy…

When you have sex with someone is far LESS important than what happens before and after you have sex.

Sexual attraction is critical in a lasting relationship.

You also don’t want chemistry to be the ONLY thing that you look for in a relationship.

If you have chemistry with someone at a 10 immediately, that is most likely just lust and it won’t last.

There is also a big possibility that the person that you feel a 10 with is a player or a fixer upper because they are the BEST at creating chemistry.

Should I sleep with Him? – Emotional Intimacy is the Key

In order to solve the when you should have sex mystery, you need to become very skilled at creating emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is what is going to make someone stick around AFTER you have sex.

At a bare minimum, you at least want to involve the aftermath….

You know, the part where you have now slept with someone and they have ghosted and you wish you wouldn’t have done it because now you see a bunch of red flags that were there before.

Caveat: there are some people who are totally fine having casual sex and never feel this way. To those people who are happy where they are at, you can stop reading now and just keep doing what you are doing.

BUT, if you find yourself in the cycle you just described, there are two possible problems.

  1.     You are ignoring red flags and prioritizing chemistry over most other things.
  2.     You aren’t attracting the right kind of guy just yet and instead are coming across the people who are out there looking for casual hook ups.

We can help you figure out with pattern you are stuck in and the solution.

If you want our expert help, go here to book a call to talk with us: www.datetosoulmate.com/session

Cheers!

Ashley & Michael