disease of more thinking

Picture this: your mind is racing wondering what to say or do about the current guy you’re dating.

He’s not texting you back.

He’s not asking you out again.

He’s acting hot and cold.

You think of all these scenarios about WHY he is acting this way.


What you can do about it.

You talk to your friends about it.

You read blogs.

Maybe you even follow the so called “rules” of dating to try to MAKE him pursue you.

You know the rules right?  Where you pretend you like things CAS and that you don’t want to be married or have a family.

You know you’re the cool woman.  No drama, no pressure.

It’s BS.

The worst part is you are overthinking the situation.  You are coming up with theories in your mind.   You’re playing out all sorts of scenarios about what will happen if I do X.

We call this the disease of more thinking.

You don’t need more thinking in this circumstance.

You don’t need to stay stuck in your head.

That’s the worst strategy and we ALL do it.

What you need to do is take imperfect action and make imperfect choices.

You’ll never have all the relevant information to make a perfect choice or to take a perfection action.

In fact there aren’t any perfect choices or perfect actions.

To find lasting love, you need to build your muscle of making faster imperfect choices more often, so that you can get back the REAL WORLD results and than make another imperfect decision.

and we discovered a solution for doing this in a strange place.

We went to a basketball game recently.  It was our sons first live game.

He was mesmerized by the skills of the players AND by the shot clock.

He kept watching the shot clock and counting down with it.

The shot clock helps the game move along.

It gives the game momentum.

It forces both teams to make choices.

After the game, we got to thinking…..

When it comes to love we should all have our own shot clock.

You should have a short amount of time to THINK about your current love situation or predicament.

More thinking hurts you more than it helps you in dating and love.

So set a short amount of time for yourself to think about what’s happening and what you want to do next.

Start your internal shot clock.

Than make an imperfect choice and take an imperfect action.

Just the act of making a choice, even if it isn’t “the right one” will give you momentum in your love life.

and guess what.

If you make a choice and the results you get aren’t ideal….

You simply make another imperfect decision to move in another direction.

So set your shot clock, get out in the real world and become a top notch choice maker.

We help people make good choices for a living.  Being a great choice maker is most difficult when it comes to love because emotions get messy.  Your greatest fears and insecurities impact your decision making.

We can show you the way.  Book a free Single to Soul Mates session with us so that we can show you exactly HOW to be a great choice maker in your own life, it’s one of the most important skills to have in your love life and in your life in general.

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn

P.S. If you are a member of Single to Soul Mates University we will have a brand new live training for you next week.

We will teach you the exact activities you should focus on doing in dating so that you don’t waste any of your time or energy doing love value activities.