The No Fluff Key to Success in Love


We are back in southern California after a month in Chicago and Wisconsin.  It’s cray cray how you can have a blast or have a miserable time no matter where you are depending on your mindset.  We’ve been having a great time.  Except we ate and drank our way through the Midwest so it’s detox time now baby.

It’s always nice to see family and friends you haven’t seen in a while.

Today we wanted to talk with you about how you can ultimately live the life you want.  How you can have the best possible intimate relationship.  Even how you can achieve more in your career.

This is the no fluff key to success.  No this isn’t some load of B@lls@@t promises.

In fact it isn’t easy.  You won’t like what we are about to tell you.  This stuff isn’t for namby pamby’s.

What do you think is the key to success in love?

What have you been told is the “right formula”?

There are a lot of gooroo’s out there claiming to “KNOW” the formula to a great relationship.  Here’s a little secret – most of them don’t walk the walk.  Many aren’t happy in their love lives.  They teach manipulative tactics to increase attraction or jealousy.

You know that doesn’t work long term.  Sure you can manipulate someone you’re attracted to in the beginning, but it WILL fall apart.

The real key to success is not sexy and most people won’t do it.


Because it’s emotionally hard.  You have to develop a high frustration tolerance to do it.

Here is the framework you can apply to your life right now to find lasting love and even career success…

Do – Fail – Grow – Repeat

That’s it. Simple, but it ain’t easy.

DO – The first step is to take action.  Do something that moves you in the direction of your goal.  Stop procrastinating.  Stop reading about it.  Stop asking others about it.  Do something right now.

FAIL – If you are taking enough action toward your goals you will make mistakes.  You will fall on your face.  You will fail.  This is good.  This is real-world feedback on your doing.  People usually shy away from this part, but that’s a fool’s choice.

Failure is the big key to your success.  The next time you’re on a bad date, get into a relationship with the wrong person, or say something that ends a relationship, remember that this is part of the success process.

GROW – You can’t just do, fail, and go back to doing the same thing.  Remember doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Other than failing, growing is the hardest part of this framework.  After you fail, you need to grow as a person.  Take stock of what happened and what you did.  Take a look at your choices and who you were when you failed.  Learn from it and rise above.  Grow as a person.

Become more of the person who lives the goal you want.

REPEAT – You’ve taken action, failed, grown and now it’s time to do again.  Only now you’ve grown as a person and you will do something slightly different that will put you on a different path.

If you follow this framework you will experience “AHA!” moments in your life like you won’t believe.   Keep running this formula for as long as you live and you will reach your full potential.

It’s not easy.  Most of you won’t do it.  Oh, and it doesn’t stop once you’ve achieved a certain thing.  This doesn’t stop once you’re done dating and are married.

This formula is key to making your marriage better and better every year too.  It never stops.

But if you want a 1% relationship….     A 1% career……     if you want to be a 1% parent……

It’s hard damn work.  It takes continuous effort.  It ain’t easy, but it’s worth it.

Say yes to love,

Dr. Ashley Arn & Dr. Michael Arn