What to Do On a First Date with a Guy- Is your First Date a Breaking Bad Episode?
What do you do on a first date? What is your mentality going into meeting someone for the first time?
We had a long hard week. It was time to binge watch some Netflix as the young kidz do nowadays.
We were on the hunt for a new show to binge watch. Hey Netflix is creepily recommending Breaking Bad, Nurse Jackie and Daniel Tiger. The kids show Daniel Tiger is the OPPOSITE of what mom and dad want to watch after a long week.
We went with Breaking Bad.
Now to be fair the show already had a strike against it. Ashley hated the show Malcom in the middle. The main character in Breaking Bad was in Malcom, so she already had a bias toward not liking the show (sound familiar in what we do in dating – some guy looks, sounds or does something similar to a jerk from the past so we already think he’s a mush head).
We watched the first episode and didn’t really like it. It wasn’t a “hated it” reaction but more of a eh.. Kind of like when you go out with a guy for a first date. He wasn’t a jerk… he didn’t say anything offensive. He was nice enough. He didn’t seem broke or mentally ill.
It just wasn’t a great date. It was neutral which for most of us means no Bueno. It just wasn’t what we EXACTLY wanted in our idealized version of a great man or show at this moment in time.
We had the strong urge to abandon Breaking Bad and move on to something else after the first only okay episode.
We both had loud voices in our heads telling us to move on to something else — which we did.
After one episode we decided Breaking Bad wasn’t a great show and we watched some movies.
Months later it was another one of THOSE weeks and it was time to binge watch Netflix again. For some weird reason we decided to give Breaking Bad one more chance.
We started watching show after show, and fell more in love with it with each episode. We became more attracted to the stories, the characters and the drama over time.
In the end, wethinks the last season of the show was one of the best seasons in all of television. Every episode was a masterpiece filled with a mix of emotions. Walter White is one of our favorite TV characters ever.
And think we could’ve missed out on all of it because of human nature. Because of our innate tendency to make snap millisecond judgments about something we really don’t know yet.
Your Baised Hunches
We’ve helped mucho clients find love both online and offline. And MOST people look for love in the same way they look for their next television show. They do what we did with Breaking Bad and judge potential matches as not good after one date or phone call or seeing one picture online.
When we were matchmakers and dating experts at eHarmony, many people refused to go out with people who could’ve been great for them. They were reading into the person’s profile way too much and coming to conclusions about who that person is without any credible evidence. Other than their own biased hunches.
You know where the majority of your biased hunches decision making ability comes from?
1. Mostly it comes from your past history (so if you’ve dated certain guys or had a certain dad or have been hurt by relationship in the past that is majorly influencing your unconscious hunches about men)
2. Your current mood while having the hunch. Your mindset, mood and attitude at the time of your hunch is the second biggest factor in your unconscious choices.
In the dating world our brain wiring often leads us to be WAY TOO picky TOO early and paradoxically not selective enough once we’re heading toward a relationship with someone.
Can you relate?
Have you ever found yourself rejecting potential matches before 2-3 face to face dates because of lack of attraction, spark or simply having only a neutral feeling?
Have you ever found yourself overlooking many red flags once you’re headed toward a relationship with someone?
Yes most of us have done both many times.
Have very Open First Date Expectations
The secret to overcoming our brain wiring in this area of life and finding the exact right person for you. To really creating a lifetime of love and passion. Is to be very open early and meet almost any man who isn’t way outside of what you are looking for. You need to be meeting a lot of potential matches and getting to know them on a face to face human interaction level. Be very OPEN to getting to know almost anyone early in the dating process.
Next you need to be very selective about who you are going to be exclusively in a relationship with. This is the time to be selective… to have your objective list about who and what is a good match for you and make sure the person you are about to enter into an exclusive relationship with has a majority of those qualities. Don’t be blinded by attraction or budding feelings of love.