Why Do Men Pull Away – 4 Reasons Why Men Act Hot and Cold

One of the most common questions we get is “Why do men pull away?”   “Why do men leave and come back?”Why Do Men Pull Away

We were talking to someone the other day…..

She had just been hit with something she thought would never happen.

Katie felt like she was spinning.

She had been dating Josh for two years now. Granted, things were on and off, but he was always her go to.

He said he didn’t want a commitment and she was ok with that before….

But, the more time they spent together, the more she cared for him.

She didn’t want to admit it.

In fact, she didn’t want to admit that she even wanted a relationship.

It felt like kind of catch 22.

Her single girlfriends continuously told her she didn’t need a man.

She had worked so hard to become an attorney. Literally, spent years of her life on this journey.

It was worth it, but she was ready for the next step.

She wanted to build a home.

She wanted her own space. A place to call her own.

She was ready to have someone to travel with, someone to come home to at night, and someone to start making plans with. Her friends told her to do those things by herself.

She could definitely do that. She was a catch! She had a kind heart, great friends and family, a career she was passionate about, and so much love to give.

Deep down, she knew that she wanted a partner to share and build a life with so she put her plans on hold.

On the flip side, her family would not leave her alone about getting into a relationship.

The questions about why she was still single were never ending.

Katie felt STUCK.

She had always hoped things would turn into a long-term commitment with Josh.

She waited and waited because, even though it was hard for her to admit, she loved him.

The chemistry that they had when they were together was electric.

He was fun, sexy, charismatic, and an excellent conversationalist.

The time they spent together was AMAZING.

She wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together in just that way.

She knew in her heart there was a problem.

When Katie and Josh weren’t together, she felt like she was on a roller coaster.

Sometimes they went days or even weeks without talking or seeing each other.

These times left her in a whirlwind of emotions…..

Anger…How could he disrespect her like this? They just spent an amazing time together. He could he be such an inconsiderate jerk?

Depression…What was he doing when he wasn’t with her? Was he seeing someone else? Was there something wrong with her that led him to not want to commit to her? Maybe she just wasn’t meant to be loved?

Anxiety…Was it over between them? When would he reach out? Was it even possible for her to find the love of her life?

She would go through this day after day until they reconnected.

He would come back, saying he was sorry, and they would step right back into the electric, sexy, fun moments they had always had together.

Until this time.

Josh had finally come clean. He said he never felt like it was a real long term possibility for the two of them and he had met someone else.  He said he didn’t expect it to happen, but it did and he couldn’t see Katie anymore.

Katie felt like her world fell to pieces.  She hadn’t even thought about dating in years.

In between the times that she and Josh didn’t see each other, she didn’t date.  She focused on work and the other parts of her life.

She had a dream for their future that was now entirely obsolete.

She didn’t think she would have to start all over again.

She was waking up at 3am every morning as her brain went down a rabbit hole of “what-if’s”.

“What if I am unlovable?”

“What if I never find someone?”

“Maybe I should just give up on love.”

“How am I going to reach my timeline for all the plans I have for myself? (family, travel, etc.)

“How do I even get started finding someone? Dating is so ridiculous today.”

Most of all, she wasn’t sure how to heal her heart. She felt herself going through the motions of her day to day, feeling sad, numb, and worried.

Katie is definitely not the only one who has felt this way.

We hear this every week from way too many women. It breaks our hearts and is the motivation for what we do.

Amazing, professional women like Katie don’t deserve to go through this time and time again.

Why do Men Pull Away

Here are four reasons why men pull away:

  • They don’t feel physical attraction or chemistry.
  • The emotional connection is missing.
  • There is an incompatibility.
  • He is not relationship ready.

You shouldn’t have to be in the gray zone waiting on something that may never happen.

You deserve to have what you want now and, together, we can make it happen just like we have for thousands of women before you (and in a lot less time than you think!).

If you want to see what our successful clients have done to meet the right man and build a relationship that lasts, go fill out this quick form to see if we can help.  www.datetosoulmate.com/letstalk

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn